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The Apartment Singles

by True Story

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1.
I'm full of cliches, but I have nothing too insightful to say. My words are full of nothingness, my thoughts a little thoughtless. I feel defeated, nothing more. An emotion that tends to lure me down and hold me up so I can't make a sound. When this is true to you, you'll understand how the world is pulling at my feet. This means so much to me that I can't stop running in circles even when my soles burn out. I'm like a hostage held at gunpoint by a neon orange weapon filled with water that only hurts my pride. This isn't the way that it was always supposed to be. What happened to the glory days and happy endings? I can yell about these things I've believed my whole life, but this isn't real and I can't feel anymore. It hit me while I was in the back seat like the knockout punch in round three, and I can't believe I lasted this long. It took me out on the ride home that I don't have to be alone. I can't believe I let those feelings own me. I might just be a messed up kid drowning in down feelings, but it helps to know that I'm not alone. When this subsides and my friendships rise, I'll be shouting out my window, "You can burn my white flag for it will never be flown."
2.
Half My Life 03:53
Yesterday, I did nothing. Today was just the same. I've lived half my life this way. and when they told me this was raining and my book was on the floor, I'd like to say I was lazy, but my mind was raging away. Slow down. I've had enough. My brain is corrupt, I've been tired for months I'm too fucked up to be here anymore but I can't just run This is way too tough. I'm losing trust, but I'll force my head up If I'm facing the sky, I won't trouble with the people on the ground.
3.
This room feels like nothing more than an empty space filled with traces of people just passing through, and the still air is colder than the middle of November, but I can't stand the look in their eyes when they see me looking back. So I guess I'll find a dry spot on the roof. With my luck, there's no stairway, but God, there's no turning back. I guess I'll look for another way home to avoid all the old spots that have gone bad. I guess the little things are burying me under insecurity, and I can't breathe. I guess the smoke out of the window in the closed down parking lot of the Parks Mall is leaving everything a bit too filthy. And I'm sure no one ever wanted to leave, but they did without me. I'll sit alone in my room, and stare at the wall thinking nothing at all. I'll hold onto everything that I'm used to. I'll sit alone on the bench at Stovall Park and at the apartment, so just leave me. I'm not how I seem. It's 9:30 but it feels like 3am. The sun's down, the moons rising, the quiet's loud and Taylor's saying something feels black. I used to have friends with houses off Little Rd. but no one's there anymore, and no one's coming back. I'd say that life goes on. He said it might not, but I still think there's a little more here. And I'm not being hopeless, I'm just saying that most things aren't getting better. And I'm nowhere close to dying but I can't help to think it's just a lie they're telling me to keep me happy, well I'm not happy.
4.
Nirup has wrapping paper of a moon in his backseat with a story too sappy to tell. Jeremy's eating six meals a day to get to the golden weight 175 pounds And I've been walking bare foot at 8 o'clock pm My neighbors have crosses in their yard with lights around the rims Passing warning signs and noticing through blurry eyes Misguided impressions of my motives in Neon Red & Green The plastic trashcans on the Carter Bloodcare bus look better from the inside Where I'm throwing up trying to donate blood and, Taylor says he's gotten to used to it but no ones gotten used to selflessness So let's not pretend that our lives are going as planned, (The days are getting shorter and we're only getting older and it's not like we're prepared for anything) our lives aren't going as planned Let's not pretend that our lives are going as planned, (Stuck in the Robert's Building in 1433) our lives aren't going as planned Who needs to go home for Christmas anyway? And he said, from underneath a plaid blanket the World looks better from the outside Let's not pretend that our lives are going as planned, (The days are getting shorter and we're only getting older and it's not like we're prepared for anything) our lives aren't going as planned Let's not pretend that our lives are going as planned, (Stuck in the Robert's Building in 1433) our lives aren't going as planned Who needs to go home for Christmas anyway?

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Titus is Earth hero #1

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released December 25, 2014

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True Story Arlington, Texas

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